Meri GF kyo nhi hai – “Why don’t I even have a girlfriend,” we ask Google, and Google says: have you ever considered taking this quiz? We, we girlfriendless people, sometimes women but often men, we take our loneliness and that we tap it into Google and Google says: here are anywhere between six and 14 reasons why you don’t have a girlfriend. We are crying, now, balled fists to the sky with the injustice of it, then we bring the fists down on a keyboard during a very specific order to ask Google something and Google takes us to a very weird place and says: have you ever considered the very fact that quote-unquote “society screwed up your brain way too much”?
Trawl the dark crevices of the web for the answers to the present question and you’ll find yourself on the top of two overriding theories: the red pill Reddit bro version, where women are shrieking and terrible harpies, evil-doers sent to condemn you to the present strange conceptual place called “the friend zone”, where they dance nude on the sides of the glass of it, cackling and flipping their women fingers at you; or the GQ theory, which basically says that you simply, a man, could improve yourself a touch by doing 10-15 sit-ups immediately and ordering whiskey confidently during a bar, then women will flock to you. That’s it, those are the 2 options. No in-between.
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I feel it’s more complex than that. Anyone checking out “why don’t I even have a girlfriend?” is tapping a really lonely little cry out for help into the search bar, and everyone they’re getting back is either a 10-point list about how men’s rights are good or a link to an $800 blazer. Will an $800 blazer assist you overcome the chronic shyness that has been stymying attempts at a relationship so far? Signs point to no. Will wearing a leather fedora, saying “alpha” tons, and learning the way to “nag” assist you to improve your underdeveloped social skills? Kind of, but mainly no.
This is why every single list answering the question “why don’t I even have a girlfriend?” quietly just doubles checks: you’ve got, like, actually asked some women out, right? You’ve got talked to them as if they were human? Men are phenomenally, phenomenally bad at this at the simplest of times. Tie that up with a perceived social imbalance like an inherent timidity, a touch edge-of-the-party anxiety, or a less-than-conventional-looking face or body, and it can snowball into something that feels inescapable. That’s how you finish up with hordes of lonely young men goggling their ways into the arms and fedoras of men’s rights forums, because it’s the rough shape of a solid answer without actually being one.
So for the record, the overall advice gleaned on getting a girlfriend if you would like to possess a girlfriend but don’t yet have a girlfriend is often compacted as thus: get confident, stupid! Don’t consider yourself as flawed or lacking in how – the old’ self-pitying “but I’m not rich/handsome/nice-smelling enough for a girlfriend!” thinking which will be easy to fall under – because, cloying advice though it’s , anyone who doesn’t such as you for the essential tenets of who you’re probably isn’t for you anyway. Related: if you’ve got a posh (“My strange armpits smell of meat!”) that’s somehow holding you back from meeting someone, it helps to figure thereon on your own time and figure it out yourself instead of projecting it on to somebody else to possibly fix.(Why don’t I even have a girlfriend)
Let go of the thought of waiting around for the “perfect woman”; if you think that you’ve found the “perfect woman” and she’s not feeling you, just accept sometimes chemistry doesn’t happen and advance. Always remember you’re not entitled to a girlfriend, you only actually need someone to spend Sunday mornings with. Then there’s just the overall advice for men (haircuts are allowed more often than every eight weeks; you almost certainly only truly need three of the 15 novelty T-shirts you’ve got now; don’t mention videogames until the fourth date unless you explicitly met on a videogames forum; and check out to relax and be funny, my god). But there’s no real advice here: you can’t trick people into liking you. You’ll only celebrate, do your best and figure that everything will compute within the end.(Why don’t I even have a girlfriend)
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But then, to be honest, getting a girlfriend isn’t the hard part. Maintaining a relationship is what you’ve got to stress about. Does one skills many arguments in Ikea you’re getting to have? What percentage photos you’re getting to need to combat pretty bridges? What percentage times you’re getting to attend the shops, ask what they need, them saying “nothing” before the inevitable argument once you come empty-handed? What percentage grooming habits you didn’t even know you weren’t doing that now you would like to learn? Have you ever taken a very, really slow perambulate a flower market? Does one want to? You’d better actually need to. The autonomy you had over which TV box sets you would like to observe just disappeared for ever. She features a favorite scent and now she wants you to wear it everywhere. Her dad hates you such a lot. If you’ll survive this, you’ll survive anything. Good hit the jackpot there.